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How to stop being dependent on girlfriend

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There is often a period after a breakup in which a person makes faux-pas that vary in size based on how depressed they are when they begin missing their ex. You had your habits of possibly being emotionally dependent , had a shared past and even a certain routine that settled into place and it all ended when your relationship was smashed to bits. In fact, this period often amplifies your feelings for them and makes you realize how important they really were in your life. In this article, I am going to share my thoughts and advice to you as someone who may think they are emotionally dependent.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Are You Codependent? Here are 11 Key Symptoms to Look For and How To Recover


5 Red Flags You’re Too Dependent On Your Partner

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Photo by Getty Images. Emotional dependency is when a person believes they need another person to survive, to be happy, or to feel complete. Love is easily confused with emotional dependency because they both usually come with intense feelings around another person. But in an emotionally dependent relationship, people feel they're "in love" when really they're "in need.

Emotional dependency comes from the inner emptiness that is created when you abandon yourself—and you then expect your partner to fill your emptiness and make you feel loved and safe. Once you make your partner responsible for your happiness, safety, and worth, then you need to try to have control over getting him or her to love you the way you want to be loved.

Love is about giving and sharing—not about getting. Love is not needy. There is nothing controlling about real love. Love is that which supports your own and your partner's highest good, which means that you would never try to control or possess the other person.

When you love someone, you deeply value their essential qualities—the qualities that don't go away with time. The challenge of real love is that you cannot desire to get love and to be loving at the same time.

Your focus on getting love will always lead to a closed heart and controlling behavior, which shuts out love. Your focus on being loving, and on learning what is loving to yourself and your partner in any given moment, is what opens the heart. When you consistently choose to be loving with yourself and others, you will experience real love. If you do not love yourself—your own beautiful, wonderful essence—then you cannot see or love the essence of another.

When you don't see and value yourself, you become emotionally dependent in your desire to get love. When you love yourself, you will be far less vulnerable to becoming emotionally dependent on a partner because you won't have a desperate need for attention and approval. When you give yourself the attention and approval you need, you'll be able to have healthy relationships with others without depending on them for your sense of well-being.

Learning to love yourself and feel whole, with or without other people in your life, is a lifelong journey. But it's well worth the effort. Ready to learn how to fight inflammation and address autoimmune disease through the power of food?

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Co-Founder of Inner Bonding. Margaret Paul, Ph. Last updated on February 21, Share on:. Signs of emotional dependency:. Have you discovered from past relationships that you have a tendency to idealize people?

Do you project onto your partner how you want them to be rather than how they are? Are you making up the person you think you are in love with? Are you primarily focused on how your partner treats you rather than on who they really are inside? Are you overly impressed by how this person makes you feel special? Have you made your partner responsible for your happiness, worth, and safety? Do you feel anxious or panicked when you are not with your partner or when they don't text when you expected?

Do you have a set of expectations that your partner has to meet for you to feel loved and safe? Do you feel that you can't live without this person? Are you terrified of losing this person? Do you feel empty and alone inside unless your partner is giving you attention and validation? Do you feel jealous and possessive of your partner? Article continues below. Love versus emotional dependency. How to stop being emotionally dependent. She has counseled individuals and couples since More On This Topic Love.

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8 Tips for Overcoming Codependence

It is true that love is unselfish. When we have children, their needs have to come before ours. We are not going to let our baby cry for hours from hunger in the middle of the night because we feel like sleeping when the baby would rather be awake and eating.

My main focus here is going to be on codependency, which is the tendency to rely too much on another person or people and to end up in unhealthy relationship situations. Here are 36 ways to overcome emotional dependency. Developing this requires self-observation, learning and practice but eventually you will be able to take care of yourself in situations where you might normally depend on someone else.

When a person is emotionally dependent, they end up in a romantic situation that is unbalanced and unquestionably unhealthy. The source of emotional dependency is a profound fear of abandonment. An emotionally dependent person thus finds themself completely emotionally dependent on the other person in their relationship. Their emotional dependency causes them to be jealous, anxious, possessive, invasive, etc. A bit like alcohol or drug addiction, for example.

How to overcome emotional dependency

Have you ever been told that you're too clingy? Has your current partner or a past partner ever accused you of being needy or dependent? While your intentions may be entirely good, being too clingy in a relationship is anything but that. These five essential steps can help you go from clingy to self-sufficient. If you tend to be the clingy type , you may be used to constantly contacting your partner throughout the day. Whether via text, talking on the phone, or sending pictures, articles, and emails, your days may currently consist of endless conversations back and forth. However, while you may simply miss your partner and enjoy being in close contact with them at all times, this actually comes off as clingy and needy.

How to Stop Being Codependent: Recognizing and Moving Past Codependency

Whenever you think of being in a relationship with someone, you may automatically think about the love you have for the other person and how much you depend on them being in your life. But with this dependence can come signs of controlling behavior that you should always keep a lookout for as well. While they might sound like two different things, being completely dependent on your partner and being controlled by your partner can often go hand-in-hand. A controlling partner will often make you dependent to suit their needs: They'll get mad if you hang out with friends , they don't do things you want to do, or they may even force you to cut ties with friends they don't like.

Singles get a lot of flak, but the truth is, despite some outdated social stigma, being single is easy for the most part. When you're solo, there's no compromise, no one with opinions on your intimate, private life, and no questioning your independence.

We all have a core need to be in relationship with others, and to experience a sense of love and belonging. We want to feel needed, but not be overly needy and clingy. This tends to repel people, not draw them to us. It seems counter-intuitive, but the way to stop being so needy and dependent is to love yourself more.

How to Stop Being Clingy in a Relationship

Emotional dependency and love often look alike. Emotional dependency can be difficult on you and on your relationships, but there are numerous ways in which you can reclaim your emotional independence. You can start working to overcome emotional dependency by learning to recognize and address your emotional needs.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How To Stop Being Clingy In A Relationship - Advice From Two Experts!

Codependency refers to a pattern of prioritizing needs of relationship partners or family members over personal needs and desires. The term is often used in addiction counseling to describe enabling behaviors in relationships affected by substance misuse. But it can apply to any kind of relationship. If you think you might be in a codependent relationship, here are some pointers to help you move forward. The line between healthy, supportive behaviors and codependent ones can sometimes be a bit blurry.

How To Get Over Emotional Dependency in 4 Easy Steps

This impulse often stems from good intentions — after all, the desire to help others is human nature. But when such actions becomes the go-to response, the dynamic may become potentially enabling to its recipient. On the other side is the individual receiving this attention. Although codependency has long been associated with substance abuse and chronic illnesses — e. Romantic partners, friends, and family members can all fall into codependent patterns. The good news is that as with many interpersonal conflicts codependency is something you can work on both identifying and overcoming. Here are five steps to help you stop being codependent:.

Sep 19, - No matter what happens, they won't stop hoping that one day things will be good. some other compulsive behavior to avoid the feeling of emptiness in the relationship. You make excuses when your girlfriend can't come to social you're worried about his growing dependence on the medication.

Needing your partner in an emotional way is a usual part of a relationship, but being needy in a relationship can do a lot of a damage. It can feel like there's a thin line between being a strong couple with integrated lives and being a couple who relies too much on each other. But it's important to be on the right side of it because depending on your partner too much can actually do some real relationship damage. Not being able to make simple decisions without first asking your partner is another sign of being too needy. People need to have some space, and by taking away that space you are creating a toxic environment that generally pushes people away.

How to Stop Being So Needy and Dependent

Photo by Getty Images. Emotional dependency is when a person believes they need another person to survive, to be happy, or to feel complete. Love is easily confused with emotional dependency because they both usually come with intense feelings around another person.






Comments: 2
  1. Daishura

    It agree, it is the remarkable answer

  2. Mogore

    As well as possible!

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